I'm going to do it just as soon as I have time. I'm going to do it as soon as I have everything else taken care of. I'm going to do it when I'm not so tired. I'm going to do it when I have it all figured out. I'm going to do it when. . .
No more when!! I just need to do it. So tonight, being short on time and needing to say who I am out loud rather than just through words on a paper, I put myself out there to the YouTube world. And frankly, I could care less who does or does not see it. I feel kinda bad since my first attempt to record the video didn't work. I wanted it to be totally raw, one take, no editing, what you see is what you get video. Oh well, you get the second take :S I recorded the video and didn't watch it. To be honest I don't plan on it either. I had to start somewhere and I don't want any excuse to take that video down. It's not always easy to believe my declarations, but I need to! I need to get Scratch and his little minions to leave me alone! (I believe in God, my Heavenly Father, and in His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I believe they are 3 separate beings. With my belief in the Godhead, I also believe that Satan is the adversary and he is doing all he can to make me not happy and to fail. I like to refer to Satan as Scratch - he's not going to do anything big to cause me to walk off the cliff that I see right to the side of me. He is going to cause little scratches. Little scratches that get deeper and deeper, that slowly cause me to lose my way. I also believe that Satan doesn't work alone. He has those he controls to help him, hence the minions. They do whatever he says to work to get us off track).
http://youtu.be/nPa96Zfardw
I know I have a lot that needs to be shared with others. It's not meant for me to keep only for myself. I've learned through my challenges and struggles. I'm constantly trying to find the lesson in all I'm faced with. Hopefully my lessons I've learned will help others along their journey. And hopefully I can remember my lessons so I don't have to keep repeating the same challenges :)
Watch the video or don't, but after some experiences I've had I was able to get the assistance of strangers in determining "Who I am!". I am going to share my list with you. From that list, I created a few statements to repeat to myself to remind me who I am. I hope it's okay that I share my personal experiences with you. Is it okay if I tell you who I am?
Thank you.
I am compassionate
I am determined
I am beautiful
I am strong
I am tender
I am kind
I am giving
I am honest
I have integrity
I am accountable
I am trustworthy
I am loyal
I have, and know my divine nature
I am full of valor
I am thoughtful
I am calm
I am peaceful
I am open
I am generous
I am likable
I am sensitive
I feel connection
I have a sense of belonging
I am courageous
I have a zest for life
I am amazing
From these powerful words I created my declarations. Can I share those with you too?
Thanks!
I have a sense of belonging and a zest for life though determined, compassionate, and strong valor.
I know my divine nature and I am accountable for my loyal and generous giving.
I am open to feel a connections with others by being courageous and likable.
I am beautiful.
I am physically, emotionally, and mentally strong.
I am AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
I've been able to have some amazing experiences recently, a couple of which are very personal and sacred to me. But I do want to share with you of my knowledge of my Heavenly Father. I know he is there and he listens to our prayers. I know he answers our prayers. I know that we may not always get the answer WE want, but He knows us best and if we go to Him, we need to be open to HIS answers. I know that families are forever. I'm grateful for my family. I have the best immediate family. My parents and siblings (and their spouses, which I consider regular siblings), nieces and nephews are the best! I learn so much from them daily. My extended family is incredible. I've discovered that my close relationships with my cousins is uncommon. I'm grateful for their examples and their friendship. I lost my Uncle this last summer and it's been REALLY hard. I'm not sure why. I've lost other close family members in the past, but for some reason, this has hit me really hard and continues to do so. I'm blessed to have spent the times that I have with him and I'm grateful that I was able to hear him bear his testimony of this gospel and of the Atonement of my Savior. Through some some incredible experiences, I KNOW that our family is forever and that the loved ones that pass before us are with us all the time. They are there to help lead us, guide us, and comfort us. I am truly blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am also very grateful for the struggles and challenges I face. I know that my Savior is there to help me through each one. I know I never face these challenges alone (although sometimes in the depth of it, that is sometimes easier said than remembered). I am grateful for all of those that I've learned from and who have helped me strengthen my testimony. I'm grateful to be in business with family! I know a lot of people that did and probably still do, think we are crazy. Our priorities put family first. Family is what matters most and I am blessed that my family is as close as we are. I love this gospel with all of my heart and I'm grateful for the guidance it continually gives me.
I'm grateful for the past little while to learn and grow as much as I have. Has it been easy? No. Has Scratch been able to get some of those wounds pretty deep? Yes. Am I going to fight through this? YES! I know with the strength I've been given through my Saviors gift of the Atonement, I can conquer all and win this earthly battle with Scratch and his minions. Because I know this right now at this moment, does this mean I will never have doubts or question things? I sure hope not. If I never doubt, I never seek to learn more. If I'm not learning, I'm becoming stagnant and eventually falling backwards. I don't know about you, but I want to keep moving forward. I realize I'll have ups and downs, but I want to always be moving forward. I'm grateful for the past and the many things it is always teaching me. If it wasn't for the past, I wouldn't know what to do or how to find the answers to my future.
Now that this "short and sweet" post is quite a bit more lengthy than I was planning, I really need to rest my body and brain so I can be open for more learning when the sun comes up (and be open to learning in my dreams if it so happens).
If you are reading this: know you are loved. You are amazing. You are of value. You are worth it. You have a divine purpose and inspire and encourage others. Try not to doubt yourself, but when you do, don't get down on yourself. Realize you are human and we will all have ups and downs.
Best of luck and Lots of Love!
